This has been bothering me for a while now.  I keep thinking I should blog about it and maybe I’ll feel better.  But, then I keep finding other things to blog about so that I can avoid what has been bothering me.

I have been feeling like such a bad mommy for a while.  Then several weeks ago I was reading on someones blog about how someone else had told her what a great mommy she was.  So, I started thinking that I didn’t think anyone had ever told me that. 

A little while later we were visiting at my parents house and my dad was talking about what a great mother my mom is.  And she is- she is a fabulous mom.  And she did tons of stuff with me and my brothers when we were little.  She is still like that- always there for us no matter what.  She’s definitely the best mom ever.  So, anyways, I started thinking some more and wondering if anyone would ever talk about me that way.  You know talk about how I did such a great job with Hailey.

Every day when I get up I vow that today will be a new day.  I will spend lots of time with Hailey.  We will play together, we will read together, we will do art activities together.  We will sing and laugh and it will be a wonderful day. 

But that isn’t what happens.  I have to spend a lot of time on the computer.  Writing sponsored posts, trying to drive traffic to my blogs so I can write more sponsored posts, trying to come up with posts to put on my blogs so that people will want to come back again, etc.  It might not seem like much but so often I spend almost the whole day in front of my computer working.

Most of that time Hailey has to entertain herself.  And she is usually pretty good.  I do take breaks to play with her, but it’s just not what I want.  I want to give her all of my attention and not have to even look at my computer.  But I can’t because we need the extra income I am getting right now (because of this).  I just keep thinking about how fast these days are going by and how I feel like I am missing everything because I spend so much time in front of my computer.

And then I wonder if in 30 years Rich will be telling Hailey how wonderful I was as her mommy.  And right now, I don’t think so.

The other evening Hailey was playing on her new “whee.”  She was playing very nicely by herself and not asking for my attention at all.  So, I grabbed my laptop to get a bit of work blogging done while she was playing so nicely.

She was playing, I was blogging.  Then I heard Hailey saying, “Ah-ha, ah-ha.”  This is the sound that she makes when she wants to get my attention and doesn’t have the words for what she wants to say.  So, I looked up at her and did the sign for “I love you.”

Now if that isn’t the sweetest thing ever, then I don’t know what is.

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The other morning Rich changed Hailey’s diaper and got her dressed.  Without being asked. 

I was listening from the kitchen.  First I heard him tell Hailey the weather would be nice so she could wear shorts.  Then I heard him asking, “Do you want to wear this shirt?”  And I heard Hailey say, “No.”  That same question and answer were repeated several times.  Finally Hailey agreed to a shirt.

On their way back out to the kitchen I heard Rich say, “I’m not sure if this outfit matches.  How do you even know if it matches?”

And when Hailey came around the corner this is what I saw her wearing.

We didn’t have anywhere to go, so I left the outfit on her.  I did have to at least brush her hair though.

As long as Rich will change diapers and get Hailey dressed without being asked I don’t mind what he puts on her.  Unless I have to take her out in public that is.

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Hailey was not exactly cooperative for our latest “photo shoot.”

Hailey loves to get her picture taken, she just doesn’t love to hold still long enough for me to actually get a good picture.  These pictures were fun though.

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