It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense…

…it just has to be scary.

Want an idea of how my mind works?

A few weeks ago (or maybe a month, I’m not totally sure) Hailey was running and playing in the living room.  She stopped and looked at me and said, “Owww, my head it hurting.”  So I asked her where it hurt and she pointed to the back of her head.  I gave her a kiss and then she ran on her way, totally fine.  But do you want an idea of how my mind works?  My first thought was, “It could be a brain tumor.”  And then I worried about it for the rest of the day.  Never mind that she was completely fine a second later.  It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to be scary.

Another time Hailey looked up at me and I thought one of her eyes looked lower than the other eye.  Clearly (in my mind) she’d had a stroke or some other serious problem with her brain.  Then I realized she just had her head tilted to the side.  But for the rest of the day (and maybe even the next day) I kept staring at her making sure her face was still even.  It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to be scary.

Last week while Hailey was sick we were in the steamy bathroom trying to help her cough and Hailey said, “My jaw is hurting.”  So I asked her where her jaw was (I wasn’t sure if she knew) and she pointed to her forehead.  So, I said, “Where does it hurt?”  And she pointed to the top of her head.  A few seconds later when I asked her where it hurt she pointed to her stomach.  Apparently nothing really hurt because she couldn’t decide where it hurt.  Or, if her head did hurt- it could have been from being sick for 2 weeks and from taking medication with a side effect of headache.  BUT, in my mind it was clearly another sign of a brain tumor.  It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to be scary.

A few days later Hailey was playing.  She stopped, looked at me, put her hand on top of her head and said, “I’m cold.  I need my sweatshirt.”  Want to know how crazy my mind works- I thought her head must have hurt and that she also had a chill.  Both of which, in my mind, were signs of a brain tumor.  It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to be scary.

I have to tell you that I really debated over whether or not to post this.  As I read back over this I know I sound really crazy.   I know these thoughts are not rational.  I know that Hailey is perfectly healthy and she shows no signs of any serious illness.  I am thankful that other than a few colds and some problems with asthma- Hailey has been completely healthy.  But this is still how my mind works.

And these are just a few examples of how my mind works- I go through thoughts like this every single day.  My mind always creates a scary scenario no matter what the circumstances.  Remember, It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to be scary. 

So, am I completely paranoid?  Do other moms do things like this?  Do I just deal with it or should I be medicated?


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16 comments on “It Doesn’t Have to Make Sense…

  1. Um. Ya. Other moms do things like this! Well, at least I do! I could’ve written this post myself!! :)

  2. You are not paranoid- I do this too. And not just with the kids- with life in general. Driving- I think every car is going to pull out and hit me…..or other crazy things.

  3. Comedy Plus on said:

    It’s just what moms do. You aren’t any different than any other mom. Now if you have more than one child you tend to do this less. Just saying.

    Have a great day. :)

  4. Danielle on said:

    You are not too paranoid, I am EXTACTLY the same why with my children, Caiden who has asthma, I have to watch him soo carefully, and When I see him struggling to breath, I panic and I sometimes tink is is going to die, all moms have these feelings, we love our children soo much and we just don’t want anything to happen to them. It is called a mother’s Gut feeling, a natural instinct that kicks in to protect our young. You are not crazy, I swear, and I even have dreams about this kind of stuff, I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, terrfied, and I have to go and check on my children. Don’t worry, you are not alone!

  5. Thea @ I'm a Drama Mama on said:

    You’re not crazy! You’re a mom. Paranoia comes with the territory!!

  6. FickleMinded on said:

    I think you’re (we’re) just being paranoid, and being a normal mom. I hate myself too most of the time because I always have a crazy imagination myself.I can easily turn a single boboo to be a sign of being diabetic or yeah, a simple headache to be a brain tumor!. i guess, mom like us are just crazy!

  7. Heather @ Not a DIY Life on said:

    no, you’re not more paranoid than any other mom. just the other day, I noticed Ladybug doing the eye-roll thing that you had described Hailey doing a while back. Made me all kinds of paranoid! I think it’s normal to be overly protective and concerned!

    BTW, I tagged you for a meme. (I’ll have it posted tonight.)

  8. This is every mother’s post! And no matter how old they get our minds still come up with the scenarios. I have a 23 year old daughter in culinary school, I worry about her cutting off a finger every day!

  9. SavvySuzie on said:

    Yeah…I totally do that. My little guy breaks a fever and I’m convinced it’s meningitis. He coughs in the middle of the night and I’m convinced it’s TB. He decides to do a silly walk, and I’m suddenly studying his every step for developmental delays. AAAAUGH!

  10. shirley on said:

    I had six chilren and it seemed like I was visiting the hopitals at least twice a week for just a cough . You are no different then any other MOM Some people says it gets better ,not true . You will always worry about them. They are your children for ever

  11. like everyone said, don’t worry about it too much, this is what mamas do.

    In our pediatricians office, we tell parents that headaches without an obvious cause (fever/bumps) are good to bring to the attention of their doctor. It could just be that she gets dehydrated, which is super common with little ones. AND you’ll feel better if you talk to her doctor about it at her next check up. Really, I don’t see any reason not to talk to the doctor, if it gives YOU some relief from worry and stress?

    Trust me, you’ll always have something to worry about, and with the internet/medical shows on tv, ugh. Try having a health care background, I have a friend who works in the NICU. She was NUTS when her son was born, weighing every diaper…timing how long she breast fed for. Took her months to learn to relax.

  12. LOL, OMG, you are soooooo funny! And sadly, I’m the same way! I think most of us are! I have googleitis. I google everything and normally it says I’ve got cancer or some other horrible thing. My resolution this year is NOT to google anything to do with medical stuff! LOL. GREAT post!

  13. Comfy Denim on said:

    Yeah, other moms are the same way.
    And I think It’s dread, tho. Not paranoia.
    I’m pretty familiar with Dread. It’s not fun. I have to stay on top of my thoughts at times … really taking them captive to the Word of God.

    Joyce Meyer’s book “Battlefield of the Mind” is a wonderful book in this regard. Easy teaching on the subject. :-)

    Take those thoughts captive!!

  14. I think being a mom automatically makes you a bit more aware and thoughtful…..and paranoid. I just hope these thoughts aren’t expressed in front of your children. You don’t want to make your kids fearful and develop anxiety.

  15. I think, when y6ou love someone mroe than life itself, its natural to be paranoid that something might happen to hurt that person or take that person away from you. And when the person is a little kid who you’re personally responsible for keeping safe and happy, that paranoia gets even worse! So, yeah, you may be paranoid, but for a good reason! You just have to keep telling yourself, Hailey is fine, she’s happy and healthy… and just enjoy her!

  16. mama meji on said:

    If it’s any consolation for you, my mind works this way too…Sometimes I over-react, over analyse, overthink (is there such a thing?)…over-over-over check and over over over worry.

    When I saw a mosquito bite on Matt’s arm while we were in Hongkong, I had thought the wort of it. So so paranoid…but I’m sure it’s just because we care and love the kids too much.

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